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Second update 9-16
After I came back in the room, Adam was again feeling his hair, I think the two layers and the shaving of part of his head has him perplexed. He was getting sleepy, he had 3 people in this morning and now me. I was massaging his hands and arm on the stiff side, and did his range of motion on his arms with him. He really is seeming to start to recognize certain words, although there is a delay in following them. Especially ‘relax’ when I’m trying to open up his tight left arm. I came around to do his other hand, and I laid my head on his chest and said, “I got my hair cut a few weeks ago, how does it feel to you?” He moved his arm off his own head, onto the back of my hair and began to rub and stroke it and feel it with his fingertips. Instantly the tears flowed and it made me silently weep. One of the shortest and most poignant verses in the Bible (although there are many who move me greatly) is John 11:34. Today I know He understands this mothers sorrowful, yet trusting heart. Here is the verse.
JESUS WEPT.
Adam is resting now, so when he wakes we’ll finish his leg exercises, I don’t want to overtire him. Later I’ll have dinner with my mom and Jason, and catch up on what is going on with my both of them, she’s doing her own paces with my dad.
We finished Adam’s exercises, he seems more limber and less resistant to being stretched, and that makes me happy. 🙂
Update 9-16
Last night I spoke with Dr. Ibrahim about some of the things I’d like. Great bedside manner, thank You Lord, I could use more of those. They are going to do the nebulizer on a regular basis for now, and also keep his sodium levels up into the high 140’s. That makes me happy, it helps keep swelling down in the brain, plus shows this doctor is very aware of how to treat brain traumas.
Our friend Jane went this morning, she was there for his PT session and took a short video. They are working on him sitting up and also moving his legs. We only got one session in the cadillac/cardiac chair at the hospital the whole time he was there, so he is not able to sit up at all yet. Please pray for his strength and balance and continued improvement each day. I had to take leave of his room for a moment so they can do the moving and changing, came to listen to the aid play the piano. Sitting listening, and listening to the buzz and whirring of the floor cleaning machine, and the squeaky footprints of the nurse who tracks across the damp floor. I watch the slow circular motions of the machine, and watch the gentleman push it with ease. I imagine the movements of her fingers as she plays the piano, I do not watch, just pondering, wondering, and silently praying that Adam will be able to do these things some day. But God…
We’re trying to take pictures and videos each and every day and notate changes. He had a day full of women yesterday, and he will today too, although Jason will come in this afternoon. Jason (by the way) is from my Dear John letter of yesterday. Jason also now knows where He will spend eternity. My hope and prayer, as would be Adam’s, is that you too know where you will be. He loves each and every one of you and want you to be with us when we pass from this earth. This again is not about religion (as I saw one of you say, you’d rather just not have to deal with the religious stuff), Jesus and I would both agree. He stood against the religious people of His day, and instead turned to love and teach and eat with the tax collectors, the uneducated, the fisherman, the drunks, the prostitutes — healing the lepers, the blind, the deaf, the lame, the ones that the religious walked by in the story of the Good Samaritan.
This is about a God who loves you and gave Himself for you. You can do nothing to save yourself, and nothing to earn this free gift of eternal life. Please feel free to email or call me if you want to know more. If you’re tired of the churches who advocate stopping sinning, or turning from sin, or being sorry enough, or any of the things religion teaches to be saved, then please consider the Word of God. ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you shall be saved’. We are sinners in need of a Savior who cannot fix ourselves. I am still very much human as those of you who know me in person can attest. I am a saved person though, and one the Lord is helping all the time as I cooperate with Him. Not because of any good I have done, and not because I myself am good, but because God alone is good, and has done all the work for me, He is the Savior and Redeemer, no one else. Come to Him all of you who are weary, tired, exhausted (with toil or burdens or grief), burdens and loads too hard for you. He says, He will give you rest. (my narrative of Matt 11:28-30)
Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also. John 14:1-3
Update 9-15
Yesterday was a pretty good day although Adam is stilling having trouble with his oxygen levels, so appreciate the prayers for that. If he can’t cooperate for therapy we will be delayed there too, so pray that he will ‘hear’ and respond to commands at the appropriate times. By the time I left last night, it was dark and cloudy all around, I had no idea that it was storming. What a downpour last night, and a nice sunny day today. We have some paperwork, one form alone is 32 pages. Another is on it’s way certified mail. Notarizing and filing other paperwork, my body doesn’t seem to want to obey my mind ❤ But then I think Adam is dealing with much worse issues. He’s heavy to move, so pray that we can get him enough range of motion in. My daughter is with him now, and his friend Wendy should show up soon. Tierney said he was not real cooperative with speech therapy, so really praying that will change quickly.
I received a beautiful bouquet of peach roses (love those and the lavender ones too. My other daughter is going to see Adam shortly, and my newest daughter, Amber, will be there with him this evening. Pray for us to rest in His guidance, yet accomplish what we need to do as the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. One consolation we have through this, is the Lord has not forsaken us. I know Adam knew where he would be if he died, not of himself, but because of what Jesus Christ had done for him, and freely given to him. This link below contains a “Dear John” letter I wrote to an agnostic friend before a serious surgery. Please consider reading it will you? Love in Jesus Christ to each one of you. I love and appreciate you. Holly (Mom).
Read here: Dear John Letter
Update 9-13
Today Adam is pretty wakeful. His dad covered this morning, and then I came and did some of his exercises. We took them slow as to not let his heart beat go up too fast. My mom came around 2, and she stayed for a couple of hours. We did some washing of his hands and feet, just massaging with the warm cloths and doing each knuckle and cuticle. He seemed to relax quite a bit and let me do some more stretches. Took off his boots and gave him a nice foot massage and adjusted his feet so his knees were bent a little. He’s been awake most of the time I’ve been with him. I held his hand, and he mimicked everything I did, rubbing each knuckle and squeezing and almost rolling my fingers. I told him I loved him and then I prayed for him out loud. Tears welled up, but I consciously kept them from flowing (at least from where he could see). I want him to see a cheerful mom. I prayed a prayer, mostly from His Word for a friend today, I think I’ll share it here, as I know so many are having hard times. They are changing positions for Adam so I’m out of the room. This is basically just all from God’s Word, just put together as a prayer. God bless you all, hug you, comfort you, give you peace.
Lord, you are the greatest Deliverer, there is none like You. You are so full of mercy and grace, and such love for us. We know these trials are here to make us strong, and we know that You use these things and work them together for good. We also know the enemy is active out there, so I am praying for You to raise that standard against Him and rebuke him on our behalf. We submit ourselves to you and are resisting the enemy with Your Word.
You are our help, and when our feet slip, Your mercy holds us up Lord, in the multitude of our anxious thoughts, Your comforts delight our soul. Our soul clings to the dust, but Your Word revives us. Our soul melts from heaviness, yet again Your Word strengthens us. You wrote these things ahead of time, that through the patience and comfort of the Scriptures we might have hope.
Oh God, You are our God, early we seek You…our soul clings to You and Your right hand upholds us. Let our enemies be ashamed and greatly troubled. Let them turn back and be ashamed suddenly. Let us use sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that they might be ashamed and have nothing evil to say of us. We will call upon You, for You are worthy to be praised.
Your lovingkindness is commanded each day, Your song is over us at night. Soon we will shed these corruptible bodies and be with You face to face. What a day that will be, to be rid of this flesh where evil still dwells. We long to do better, and to please You with our faith. I know I’ll never be a hall of famer like my brothers and sisters before me (Heb 11), but Lord help us to acknowledge You in more of our ways. WE need You, we cry out to You to deliver us from our troubles. We pour out our hearts before You. We know this light affliction is but for a moment, and we ask that it will work a far more exceeding weight of glory as we look to those things which are eternal.
Help us in our weakness, and work in us through these things. Help us to bless those that curse us. To be patient with those who are inpatient, and to be kind to the unkind. To be considerate to the inconsiderate, and loving to those who are unloving. All I can say Lord is we need you to hedge us in before and behind us, lay Your hand upon us. Surround us with Your protection. And give us courage and boldness to speak of You to others. We love You Lord. Thank You for Your salvation, for coming to give Your life for us… Help us to get through today with thankfulness in our hearts, and praise on our lips.
In Jesus name, Amen
Update 9-12
Adam is mainly settled in, we have still to await the Physical and OT therapy. Respiratory therapy has met with him, and spent a lot of time with him today and tonight. He is called ‘productive’ so praying they stay on top of that overnight. Thank you all for your prayers for strength, wisdom, gentleness, kindness, patience, etc.
As I watch my son, and see what he cannot do, I realize more each moment how we need to be thankful for each thing the Lord has given to us and pray that these things will be restored to Adam.
Update 9-11/12-2015
ps 126-5-6Yesterday and the day before, we’ve been viewing and re-viewing the facilities. Two different friends went to look at two different facilities at separate times, along with Jason, and I of course had to go see them also. Adam’s dad went to the one in Scottsdale, so did Jason, and we were fine with that facility. We also met with the representative a few days ago for Q & A. But, they denied him, they felt he was not medically stable enough although he did not give that as a reason to the social worker, they just denied him.
I made a final run with a friend last night to two places. The first was one my dad had been in years ago for a short time, still really no better. When I had my tour he pointed out a bunch of respiratory staff, about 5 of them standing around, I saw no one but patients in rooms and most of them dark and it was only about 6:30. Most of the nurses and CNA’s were standing in the hallways. I forced myself to continue, but kept looking for a nurse in a room, didn’t seen one nurse in one room, poor things, I wanted to go in and talk to them all. But I couldn’t wait to get out of there! But, I didn’t want to have any guilt about leaving one stone unturned.
I was pretty much already settled on the one facility due to Jason’s report which was detailed, along with the email report my other friend had sent the day before. All of us spoke to different staff members on our tours. It seemed we covered a speech therapist, a respiratory therapist, an administrator, and a pulmonologist — along with a friendly staff member who had worked there 15 years. It has changed quite a bit since I saw it last, it looks great, but more than that, everyone looked busy. And happy and pleasant too. I realize there can always be good staff with personality conflicts, or good people that have bad days, or sometimes — just plain poor staffing, but it looks like this place has some very good standards in place. Hands down, this facility wins out of all my limited choices.
The other TBI rehabs out of town he is not quite ready for. I was looking at Atlanta, Shepherd Center, and a couple others. Barrows Neurological says he is not quite ready for them yet either, however Adam is making strides now that some of his morphine has been changed, I feel like we can reach him more, he is more alert, and is making more purposeful movements.
We’ve had a lot of challenges, Jason has been a huge help each day, and in the midst of all chaos, he is getting ready to start his chemo (which will be daily), so I appreciate your prayers for him also. He just patiently lugs around my stuff, drives me to the closest entrance, parks, does paperwork, listens to me when I am upset, makes sure I’m fed, etc. May the Lord really bless him for his servanthood towards me and my family.
I also have neglected my father with taking care of these things with Adam, my mind is in a flurry of trying to remember every thing I need to do, and that is one thing I don’t think some people comprehend in their daily job, is that the family is in shock, no matter what they may appear to look like from the outside. And of course, they also want the best care for their family. But I think the Lord has helped here as the two facilities won’t be too far from each others, so we’ll be able to see both of them with more ease, thank You Lord for Your goodness to us.
I highly encourage all of you to be sure you have someone who has a power of attorney for you, none of us are immune from having something happen in a moment. We are not promised tomorrow. The maze of paperwork and courts and banking, and paying bills, etc. is multiplied exponentially without one. Adam said he had done one, but his roommates look, and unfortunately it is nowhere to be found. Please consider a trusted friend or family member. I’m only saying this to save any of you from the same hardship should something like this happen to you or a loved one.
I went over his discharge papers yesterday, they had made a few simple mistakes and left out a few things that she and I made notations on, I think we have it all situated, I appreciated Eileen’s help.
Here is something that is really neat. The doctor who is going to be taken care of him, the one that is recommended, IS from Barrow’s neurological institute, the one I have asked for, and the social worker kind of had a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her lips, when she asked if it bothered me if that was where he was going. I thought he’d have to only go to JC Lincoln, but she said they worked with Barrows too. I wanted to jump up and down for joy. I am not saying I did not have some good doctors and nurses at Scottsdale Osborn, I surely did, but I do not want the one neurologist again, ever. He may be able to save lives, I am sure of that, but he can sure steal joy.
Right now we are asking for people to comment here if they want to visit or help with any of the therapies. Give us an email so we can arrange times with you. We will let you all know when visiting will be allowed again and will do a group email. This is just to give time for him to be assessed and given his therapies and to know his schedule and how much stimulation he can take. This place encourages interaction, and I am getting organized with my team of volunteers 🙂 Adam is leaving the hospital now, and will be in his new rehab shortly. Thank you all for your goodness to us and your prayers.
We have probably had 25,000 views (is my guess), since the accident, so I know many of you are coming to check in. I also have seen those of you who have been copying and pasting and sharing my posts in groups, and those do not show up as views here, so who even knows how many have been reading and praying with us? I have been told by countless of you that your church, your prayer group, your Bible study are out there praying. For that, I shed tears of gratefulness. I can’t tell you how much each of you have meant to me, my son has loved many people, he has such a kind heart as you all know, and it’s been a pleasure to meet you all, from all walks of life, all ages, just overwhelming.
Red Robin has been supportive too, I urge you all to visit your local Red Robin, and tell them why. You can visit their website and tell them you are patronizing Red Robin on Adam Hixson’s behalf. 🙂
As for Chris and Cristine, yesterday Cristine says she has also seen changes including Chris puckering up his lips to give her a kiss. Made me tear up. Bless them with a miracle Lord.
If you like, here you can read up on the man who is to be Adam’s neurologist, fondly known as Dr. Rocky Marciano.
Update 9-10-15
Yesterday was another long day, my body stopped doing too well, lots of charlie horses in my legs and feet. Thank the Lord for boys who would help me by massaging them, and some potassium, magnesium and heating pads. Made me think of how necessary it is to really continue Adam’s range of motion exercises. I started collecting things I thought might help for some brain work, some different shaped and colored balls, and a brush for his senses, and a plastic pill container and a few other things. We need to keep him limber. I had help yesterday so we got his exercises done, and a few of his friends also stopped by, along with his father who usually comes in the morning time, so he has a good support system. We’re going to try to get that organized for visits once we know where we are. Thank you all for understanding when I put you off for now. We do not know where he will be one day to the next, both in health or location. He had a rough day yesterday with lots of drops in oxygen and the necessity for deep suctioning of his lungs. They are supposed to order a nebulizer, I don’t know if that has been done yet.
I called also to ask a doctor to fill out the paperwork needed for the judge for temporary guardianship. The Nurse Practitioner of yesterday handed it back to us and said she wasn’t going to fill it out, to get it done at the facility wherever he went. So in the meantime it has been delayed even further due to her refusal to do this. I put in a call to the social workers and explained my frustration at this delay. They are the ones who have been taking care of him for three weeks, they are the ones that have told me he’ll be incapacitated for the rest of his life (Dr. Hu), but they cannot help me by filling out the paperwork I need to take care of his affairs? Please pray for someone to actually help vs. make excuses. Yesterday I mentioned to the one social worker, that she was supposed to be Adam’s advocate. I had told her the facility had mentioned his instability and she said, “no, they did not say that, they gave no reason”. I had to explain to her that they did indeed say that they felt he was too unstable to be moved yet, and that they did not like that he was neuro storming (according to NP) and that he hadn’t been cultured since 8-26. That it was traumatic for patients to be moved back and forth. And I explained there was a witness to that. So she listened at that point. It seems once a particular doctor decides to take a negative attitude, they must all follow suit and either stay quiet or disagree with something that is said. I really am doing my best to be kind and gentle, so please keep praying. Again, there are most definitely some good caregivers there, and you can see some are very compassionate.
Today there is supposed to be another option for a skilled nursing facility, so I am waiting for a call. The other one which we had pretty much settled upon denied him. We believe we have already settled on another. The gentleman who came from the first facility made a comment about not knowing if he was stable enough to move. Since the NP said he was still storming and that is why they were administering so much morphine, he didn’t seem very confident, and I guess I read that one right. On one hand it’s frustrating, yet it also can be the Lord opening and shutting doors.
I did receive a call at 12:48 pm today from the social worker, they are working still on the one facility, they are looking at a 24 to 48 hour discharge from the hospital, and I told her that was fine assuming he is doing well. We talked about the NP handing the paperwork back to me and not filling it out, she said she would advocate for me to get that done. I have to confess, that the ‘feelings’ of trust are not always there, although I do trust God implicitly, sometimes it is scary as we advocate for our loved ones, not wanting to make any errors, and yet feeling as if in a fog. And then to have adversaries who you feel are supposed to help, it is overwhelming at times. I go by what I know, and that is the Lord is good, and has always been good and faithful to me, even when I was or am not faithful. I am so thankful that it is not how good I am, but how good He is to us. I am leaning on His everlasting arms ❤
May we remember this today.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;
and lean not unto thine own understanding.
In all thy ways acknowledge him,
and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6
Update 9-9-15
I couldn’t bring myself to post any more of my day yesterday, it was one of the most difficult for me. Talk about brain neuro storming, it feels like it’s what happens with me too, information overload and upset caregivers. It makes it especially difficult when you have a hostile or calloused doctor/nurse practitioner. My nurse practitioner yesterday was a beautiful, thin blonde, with unfortunately a not very understanding or listening personality, at least when it comes to me. It’s hard to describe to these people what they are doing to those who are the walking wounded. The patient’s family is in trauma and instead of treating them with understanding and gentleness. (don’t get me wrong, there are several who were excellent), some feel they are doing you a service by pronouncing a death sentence or in your face ‘bluntness’. Worse, they ignore your health concerns because it seems as if they have written him off.
Yesterday and the night before, Adam had alarmed in the late 80s and early 90s he was staying at for his O2 levels. He also did get some time in the ‘cadillac’ chair and had some more events of tachycardia after about 45 minutes. It didn’t set off the alarm, so they must have raised the number again, but I looked over to see 138 bpm. His nurse was right on it, we got him out of the chair and laying back down, the last couple days of nurses were a pleasure.
The nurse practitioner said none of it was concerning for her, that was pretty normal, but I told her it was a change we hadn’t seen plus his breathing was shallow and that was one of the side effects of mixing the new medicines with morphine. She just said I wasn’t recognizing his condition and this is just him having his good days and bad days. Maybe she was having one of hers, because she told me she was frustrated with me, and didn’t understand what I didn’t understand and had to go back into the notes with Dr. Doom to see what I hadn’t been able to grasp (I mean Dr. Hu).
She told me she had already told me he was discharged and I told her I didn’t have anyone tell me at anytime that he was discharged (as in past tense). She came back hard with, “Yes, I most certainly did tell you last Thursday or Friday”. I said I had seen no papers and she said they didn’t do them? I wish they might understand that if they really had said that, to maybe consider saying something like, “maybe you don’t remember, but let me refresh you with what we spoke about, and let me make sure your friend here with you understands as well”. (I took notes that day and every day, and what she said was he was getting ready to be discharged soon, and I should be looking for a place — which I have). My friend also said he did not hear her say he was discharged, only that he should be soon and we should be looking for a SNF.
I also mentioned my concern with his liver damage from the accident, and how in the hospital they monitor that daily, but in the facility, will they? And the medicines with how over medicated he’s been, I’m concerned with that. She basically told me she thought I was ‘inhumane’ to withhold his medicine when someone is in pain. I was in shock, it felt like I was in a dog shelter with those kinds of answers. She repeated inhumane twice and told me she was NOT going to change his medicines. I told her that the respiratory person (I thought that is who Sara was with) had said she would do a hold order so that if he was in too much of a stupor, they could hold off on the morphine. This is how the ‘inhumane’ came into the picture, and she told me respiratory has NOTHING to do with his medicines. I told her Sara was the name, but didn’t know the dept. Adam has not appeared in pain, and as a matter of fact he has appeared to be overdosed at times and so how can he be responsive if he is totally drugged? It’s almost as if it is dangerous it seems to ask the wrong questions, she told me I could start paying if I wanted to stay. She then went out to the nurse’s station and gestured dramatically as she told her story of what she had to deal with me about. (A friend stood by and watched and listened).
I repented. That was the sign I was looking for to change my mind regarding staying there. How could Adam get the care he needed there when there were people as negative and hostile as she and Dr. Hu have been, including speaking in front of Adam? Please still pray for them both. No unkind words were exchanged by me, but I did have a difficult time trying to be Adam’s advocate as the NP insisted upon being heard and not really wanting to answer my concerns. Again, I repented. I changed my mind, we will look for another place, as we actually also really have no choice that I know of ❤
Today I’m trying to compare the two facilities we’ve seen, and going to go back to one to check out the particular room they are considering for him. Talked to both and getting the questions answered. Pray for the right decision for Adam and all concerned. Pray for no more of these events from the staff, it wears me out and is like another knife in the wound. The Lord knows what these times feel like, as I said, I know He is storing my tears in a bottle. It’s as if I’m unable to cry, I’m walking in a dream that I cannot wake up from. Even though we walk through the Valley of the Shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for He is with us.
Back to Adam, I have a friend doing his range of motion exercises now (1:15 pm), she has been with him since this morning, doing some quiet reading of the Bible while allowing him to rest. His blood pressure has been low for days too, now they are giving him a saline drip to help it go up, I feel if they would slow down the morphine and baclofen, one or the other, he would not be so low, and not need his o2 upped, and his saline upped. It’s like they depress him on one hand, then mask the side effects by treating them vs. the underlying issue. Which to me is slow down on these things and maybe back off a little. But what do I know? I’m just watching and talking to those families who have already been through this. I’m hearing so many similar stories. But again the Lord knows, appreciate all your help and prayers.
Update 9-8-15
We stayed with him through the night, his friend stayed overnight, we didn’t really want to leave him alone, he was too low in oxygen. His friend stayed through to the morning shift until about 8:30 to be sure he was good. Adam has had some good support. My daughters are going to do some of the physical therapy after lunchtime, and then I’ll be with him after that, we do it all again. Each day we hope for new tender mercies. Yesterday was his eye blinking for yes or no. Pray for Adam’s encouragement, he seemed a lot discouraged yesterday. One of Adam’s friends is going to come in the morning to read the Word to him too, we continue to do that, knowing the Word gives wisdom and understanding and knowledge of the One who gave His life for Adam and the rest of us too. Pray for all of us in our weakness in fatigue, yet knowing we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.
Update on Monday, Labor Day, 9-7-15
Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt 11:28-30
ps 56-8-11Cindy his nurse said Adam was ‘messing’ with his trach this morning, so she talked to him, and asked him if he could blink once for yes, and she said he did it. Then she asked him to blink twice for no, and Adam also did that. She then asked him if he was in pain, and he blinked once for yes, so she gave him some pain medicine. She has been good, swabbing his mouth every other hour for the thrush. My daughter Baylie comes in about half and hour or so, and if PT hasn’t been in to do his range of motion exercises, she’ll do them today for me. Physically, he is a little strong and heavy for me, although I’m learning how to use leaning and body weight with leverage to move things. Wish I had a pulley system 🙂 So, training more of the young ones to do this, maybe I’ll get a few therapists out of this ❤
In a little while they are going to set him up in one of those ‘cadillac’ chairs, this is very good, as he needs to be able to sit up for at least one hour without ‘storming’ (can cause tachycardia or blood pressure to spike, as well as fevers), so hoping that session also goes well. I’m going to talk to them about light arm and ankle weights for the stretching to help also with the rigidity, and do a little of my own research too, in order to be sure that is the right thing. The Lord is putting my tears away in a bottle ❤
UPDATE 9-6-2015
Adam’s sister and brother-in-law from Colorado visited again and said goodbye to had on the way home. Gifford, Jessup and Koby also spent time with him, then Tierney and her friend John came down also to be with Adam and say goodbye to Greer and Joel.
Today Adam actually opened his mouth, he also yawned a few times, we hadn’t seen that before. He also reached up and scratched his forehead when I turned to wet a rag. Made it bleed it multiple places by yanking off scabs. They’re removing the stitches from his trach, and it should stay in place now. Not sure how long trach’s stay in, however his oxygen levels are good as well as his breathing. He’s doing a lot more coughing, which is good to stay off pneumonia.
He is also doing a lot more movement, they are trying a couple new drugs, one for the central nervous system to see if they can regulate his fevers and help loosen up the muscles. Poor thing, it’s like one thing or another, right now, he has multiple wounds in his mouth and he has some sort of thrush too on his tongue. So they also have one medicine for him.
My daughter Tierney helped me with the range of motion exercises, actually did more than I did because he’s resisting some, so it makes it difficult for me because one side is pretty strong. But these are good signs that he is regaining movement and some motor functions.
I am only looking at today, trying not to worry about tomorrow; sufficient for today is the trouble therein…
UPDATE 9-5-2015
At the end of the day. Bodies ache, hurts surface, emotions ebb and flow, and yet there is so much to be grateful for. Adam is more wakeful and more purposeful today, and they acknowledged it (nurse and doctors). He was irritated and tossed them off his arm. We can see there is a long road ahead, but I only can handle looking down at my path directly ahead. I’ll look to the Lord and His Word for my strength (Ps 119:25, 28).
Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. Ps 119:105
UPDATE 9-4-2015
Adam has had a busy day. And he is resting now, and we’re listening to some pleasant light music while he rests. Today is the first time we’ve seen him get his right arm higher than his misting tube on his trach. He reached up and scratched his forehead, then he scratched his eyelid on the right side. He opened up his eyes wider than we’d seen also, and he seemed more focused, not just blank staring. His friend, asked him to squeeze her hand, and he yanked away his hand, it made her laugh. We video taped the one where he moved his arm up that high, and also asked the nurse to chart it, and she said she would, so I hope she does.
The doctors still come in and say basically the same thing, “no change”, but we continue to hope in the Lord, and keep our eyes on Him. He cares for the sparrow, He loves the world, He gave His life for all. I trust His goodness, and although I appreciate the way that medicine can help, their report is not the final one. I am sure they see me as one who is in denial, and that is O.K. I was doing his passive Range of Motion exercises, because I asked and physical therapy had not shown up. One of the staff came in and said, “he’s had enough stimulation, he needs to rest now”. I said, “o.k., he hasn’t had physical therapy yet, and since he’s awake and I’ve already started, I’ll just finish this and then let him rest.” Her response was to whip around and storm out of the room. Please pray for the staff to be also considerate of not just the trauma the patient has been in, but the trauma and pain the family suffers, not just of us, but of others. Touch their hearts to be gentle Lord…
I want what is best for my son too. When he is in his ‘sleep’ mode, I shut the blinds, and I make sure it is quiet, and that he gets a good long nap. We have cared for his basic needs that they will not do, such as fingernail clipping and such, so that he does not scratch himself. We keep his hands and feet massaged, and cool cloths on his head to help keep his temp regulated. And we pray. And we wait on the Lord. Great is His faithfulness. Love you all so much.
UPDATE NIGHT 9-3-2015
Today was like a brick wall that I ran into, where my mind almost stopped functioning. It was like information overload and my brain wasn’t complying. I have a good support system, pray for them too. I don’t even know what to ask for, but He knows.
Shepherd Center says he is not ready, and so did Barrows. I agree, he is just in a drugged state right now. Pray for progress and the right decisions. Love you all in Him, Holly
UPDATE 9-3-2015
There was some progress as Adam started to wake again (after I cleaned his eyes with a warm, damp rag) and he got a little annoyed I believe. 🙂 The nurse came in and did some pinching and he did react on the left side (he has not before), by shrugging to move. His left side is weaker, and she says the movement on his feet mean nothing as she was stroking them, but to us it is something, as he really hasn’t been responding at all to touch. We have to do some more research on storming as they have him on morphine and he seems way too drugged up. He is getting an IVC filter put in right now, it is to supposedly prevent pulmonary embolisms from getting to the heart. They had talked about doing that when they did another surgery last week, I do not know why it did not get done, because they asked for my permission, I can only assume it is because they forgot. No one ever told me until today that it had not been done last week. Just floored me.
Things we need prayer for. The right place that specializes in brain injury vs. just being sent to skilled nursing where he won’t be treated right. Wisdom to be firm in areas we should. We are asking all who visit to document changes or even issues with symptoms in writing and also video tape. We were advised to do this by others who have been through the system and have not received the help they need. The comments we get are ‘no change’, even as we see and notify them of changes, they pooh pooh them. Thank you for prayers for all who take care of him and those who are there helping. There have been many offers and we will be taking people up on their offers to visit and help in the future.
I just spoke with the social worker and asked them to fax a referral to Shepherd Center in Atlanta and she said she would do that today.
I am reminded that it was prophesied in Isaiah 53, that Jesus was a Man of Sorrows who is acquainted with grief. Furthermore, it says, He has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows. He loves Adam, and He loves me, and He gave His life for you too. If you don’t know Him, please do not wait. I would never have imagined this for Adam ever as he didn’t ride motorcycles. I could be gone in an instant, our life is but a vapor. Any one of you reading, your life could be over in a flash. Please do not wait. This is not about religion, but about life. Jesus came that you might have life.
Love in Christ, Holly
UPDATE 9-2-2015
We made lots of calls today. Adam is very close to the same status, unresponsive, and more out of it. I have asked him to look into other alternatives to the morphine since it seems that this may be the timing of his change in alertness. He was just starting to come awake, and now he doesn’t even open his eyes or move. We have called other hospitals, and legal help. We have contacted the insurance and human resources for Red Robin and asked for patient advocacy. We wait upon the Lord now, we’ve done much more than that, but won’t bore you with all the details. We continue to look for what the Lord might do, and continue to call upon the One who made Adam’s body. Adam was fearfully and wonderfully made, marvelous are His works, and that my soul knows very well (Psalm 139).
Please continue to pray for my dear son, Chris and his wife Cristina and those taking care of him.
UPDATE 8-31-2015
Evidently my update from last night didn’t ‘take’. The meeting was not good, they offered us no hope. Basically what I said is that Dr. Hu may not know Who made the universe, and Who is judge of all the earth, and Who it is that we pray to. We understand it is serious, but while there is life there is hope, and my hope is in the Lord. I told them of the miracles with my dad, my mom, my husband given seven more years. They said my experiences were ‘valid’. I told them I trusted God no matter what the outcome, but I was not going to just accept that prognosis after such a short period of time. After all my questions, Hu looked past me to Adam’s father and asked him if he had questions, and his father said no. Hu left at that point, I imagine he felt he was doing us a favor with his grim prognosis. The chaplain and nurse stayed and he asked me about our beliefs, so I was able to tell them both that my son had believed upon the Lord Jesus Christ as his Savior, and that because of that if he died, I knew where he would be, and that was of the utmost importance. How many other people in the hospital have that expectation to look forward to? Have they heard the good news? Have you? Please listen here.
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence; I shall not be moved.
In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him:
God is a refuge for us. Selah. Psalm 62:5-8
UPDATE 8-30-2015 NIGHT
Meeting with the trauma team in the morning. Have a list of questions that I’ll be posing to them. Listened to the series on Severe Brain Trauma injuries with the Shepherd institute. Trying to do my part to be an informed advocate. Pulled off a lecture from Georgetown on Cognitive therapy, and did some range of motion exercises with Adam today. He has had no physical therapy or OT or cognitive therapy, so I’ll find out why tomorrow. Pray that the insurance will cover an acute care facility that specializes in severe brain trauma injury. My body is tired, but I have good support, and am blessed. His friend Amber is there, I read to the middle of John 10 and she’s continuing with the Bible reading and prayer and music and going to do some range of motion movement with his legs and arms too. Thank you all for your many prayers on our behalf. May the Lord bless you for it.
UPDATE 8-30-2015
When I came in, he was sitting up in a medical chair. He was dripping feeding fluid, evidently he had pulled out the line. I told his nurse and she re-attached it and went next door. His heart rate when I looked was over 145-150, so I went looking for her, finally found a nurse to tell. They changed him back to his bed, and his heart rate finally went under 100.
Respiratory just took him off his cpap ventilation, he has a vaporizer hooked up to his trach and breathing on his own right now. That is one good report from the Lord. We take each thing and thank Him. Please continue in prayers for Chris and Christine.
UPDATE 8-29-2015
AFTERNOON
The news is not what we would wish to hear regarding his brain injury. I know the Lord will help, no matter the outcome, and I also know He only has to say the word, so I continue to wait upon the Lord’s report. Please pray that I might only hear what is necessary to take care of him, but also to continue in hope. I stopped and spoke to Christine, gave her a hug, and talked to their business partner. I read some more from the book of John to Adam, and we’ll just keep going, and let the Word do the work, as the Lord wills. The positive news, is that he is breathing somewhat on his own, he is on assisted breathing with the ventilator but initiating more of his own breaths. He is getting oral meds and food already through his tube. I will continue to keep my eyes on the Lord and when my feet slip, I know who will uphold me. I posted this before, but it bears repeating from Eph 3, specifically regarding the breadth, and length, and depth, and height of the love of Christ which passes understanding (or knowledge), and He is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us…(see vs. 14 on)
We wait in hope.
MORNING
Not much news yet. The feeding tube was placed later than they thought. His temperature is still up, they continue with the antibiotics, although they stopped one. This is a long road that only the Lord knows the ending to, and He is good in all things. The good news is, He walks with me and He talks with me, and He tells me I am His own… (In the Garden – the song Alan Harkrader sang at Gilbert’s funeral).
Please continue to pray for comfort and provision for Chris and Cristina in this time. One patient did wake up yesterday. That is hope for the whole floor. Pray for hurting hearts, and for people that are burdened to come to the One who gave Himself for them out of great love.
Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matt 11:28-30
UPDATE 8-28-2015 – NIGHT
They will take him in shortly (they say) for the feeding tube. His blood pressure and heart rate is stable for the moment. Temp is not going up. Once the tube is in 24 hours they will be able to manage these things better. He was moving his one arm more, which meant I stood a lot more to keep him from grabbing for things (wanted to leave his arm untied). I am tired, and ready to rest. Thank you all ❤
UPDATE 8-28-2015 – AFTERNOON
How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. Psalm 139:17-18
SPECIFIC PRAYER REQUEST: Right now he is ‘storming’ they think, which means his blood pressure and pulse along with temperature are not reacting well. Please pray for those three things. Feeding tube is delayed.
UPDATE 8-27-2015 – NIGHT
Adam is done with surgery for today, he is back in his room and resting for tomorrow’s PEG tube. This will at least be a respite for all the tubes in his mouth. Thank you all for your continued prayers for all concerned ❤
UPDATE 8-27-2015 AFTERNOON
I was looking through Adam’s texts for the pictures he sent me when they went to visit my dad for Father’s day breakfast (boys only). We had been talking about good books to read in, he had been reading Psalms and John. I didn’t remember this past text conversation.
Last night I asked Amber if she would read to him from John, and she did, all the way through chapter 5. When I read this text, I had to smile, thinking on him thinking what he had told me in his text, “Amber, my grandpa made me memorize chapters 1-4, so you can just start with chapter 5”. ❤
Then he said this: “I just want you know, I’ve always felt God. Even before it was taught to me who He was” (I taught him, from the time he was in the womb, and sang Jesus loves me to him, and told him stories, so he was taught even if he didn’t remember – so always teach them). He continued, “He will always rule my life and speak wisdom and joy into my ear. I can’t even tell you my first encounter with God because it’s as far back as 2 years old… He always guides me, sometimes I stray but he NEVER lets me go.” (As I mentioned, Jesus is faithful when we are not, and He never denies us).
The next text, I can’t put into words what it does to this mother’s heart. Please everyone, tell someone you love, how much they mean to you now. Adam said, “I love you mom. You are the best woman I’ve ever met.” (I told him I was taking a screen shot and laminating it on a card to hold up in front of him if he was being naughty to me). He told me, “You go ahead, I would expect no less lol!”
Let your children, your friends, your loved ones know that you love them. Tell them in sincerity and at unexpected times and often.
Adam goes in for his oral surgery at around 5, as always, being put under is a risk, so please pray for him and for the one’s who are working on him.
Love you all.
UPDATE 8-27-2015 NOON
Daily I see these religious or philosophical quotes on FB float by on my page. A few minutes ago, I saw this one, ‘he lived to make Christ known’. The question was would our biography read like that. And I don’t know if it’s just me, but I don’t hope for those things to be said about me. It actually made me feel a little sick. I do most certainly want others to know Him as their Savior, don’t misunderstand me please. But instantly what came to mind about what my biography might be, is what I had just shared with someone a moment ago. Mine might read something more like this.
He is faithful, when she was not. Jesus never denied her. (2 Tim 2:13)
It’s not about us, it’s all about Him. He has done it all. The apostle Paul said this about himself. “This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners; of whom I am chief.”
That’s me.
I’m not here to hold myself up as anything other than a mother who needs to cling to the Lord at all times, because I am weak. But He is strong and will help us through this.
12:45 pm – Spoke to his nurse, the tracheostomy went well, they just got him all cleaned up, and settled in. No visitors today. Better on these days of in and out. He will go in for another surgery around 4-5 pm today on his mouth. Pray for his blood pressure and pain which has been reactive to any pain and other stimuli. The peg tube will happen sometime tomorrow.
Right now (around 10:45 am), they are doing the tracheostomy, I will update underneath this during the day as I am able. They should do also the peg feeding tube and the mouth and oral surgery later if he does well.
UPDATE 8-26-2015
Adam was up and down with fever last night, over 103, they cultured him to see if they can find out the cause of the underlying infection. He is to go in to surgery tomorrow for the damage to his inner lip and tongue, please continue to pray for wisdom for the doctors. Please also remember always Chris and Cristina in your prayers.
Thank you all for upholding us in prayer. Having walked this journey more than once, I am of course sad, sometimes afraid, weak, but I’m at peace. I really do think on how when I cry, He stores my tears (Ps 56:8), or when I am afraid, I can trust Him (Ps 56:3), and my strength means nothing, His grace is sufficient for me. Any strength or peace is because of Him and His saints who are praying for us. Not because I am anything at all, Not because I am strong, I am weak. If anything, all I have learned that is the most important for anyone to remember, is when you take your eyes off of Jesus, turn them back as soon as you realize. And endure in that. Remain in His Word. When you get distracted, go back again. We don’t have enough strength to get through these times. But He is our strength. I can do this because I know how good the Lord is. How good He always has been. And how good He will be in the future. I am no Job, but the Word shows us even Job had his breaking points with his friends.
I will continue to ask Him for both these boys to be healed with the knowledge that He hears and He cares, and those of you who are His? The effectual, fervent prayers of a righteous man avails much (and we are righteous because of Christ).
And no matter the result, I also will trust that He knows the best for everyone considered. The Lord loves my son more than I do.
One of my friends said it was o.k. to ask why and I agree with that. But I don’t know why I have not, I just don’t ask “Why Lord”? I guess it’s because He has always shown me good things in all the bad. And the picture above with His Word on it has been true of His deliverance in my life more than once, and I am in the best place possible. I have the Lord with me.
I cannot imagine those in these situations, that do not have a friend to cry with when they are alone, someone to talk to. When I hold my son’s hand, the Lord upholds me with His righteous right hand.
Please pray for more to come to know Him, so they will never be alone again. So that they might live with Him eternally, for this life is but a vapor. The grass withers and the flower fades, but the Word of the Lord endures forever. Eternity is forever. Please be sure you have believed upon Him, and not upon your own goodness, or something you have done, but upon what He has done in your place.
Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved. Thank you all for your support.
I just spoke to the head of the trauma team, they will do the tracheostomy in the morning and peg (feeding tube) sometime tomorrow as well as the mouth surgery. Don’t need to overload with info, the Lord knows all, but please continue to pray for the right timing, and the right staff to care for them both (Chris and Adam).
His friend Amber read to him last night from the book of John. She read five chapters. My Bible is in there on the back window, so if anyone comes in, read from John a little. The are just under 1000 words in the book of John, I feel like that will be a good place to get him started with a basic foundation.
Love in Christ to you all.
UPDATE 8-25 AFTERNOON
I received an update from the MRI. He has lots of brain bleeds. The types they saw are not good, they are called ‘shear’ injuries where tissue shears other tissue. It’s very common and also very devastating, so it is hard for this mother to hear about her first baby. I have learned that man’s report is not always God’s report, so I wait upon the Lord. I thank you all for your prayers, your FB comments. I appreciate if people will think about their comments before they are written, as some I have seen are distressing. I know you mean well, but please save opinions on his prognosis, and be in prayer asking our Savior to heal him. I know, God’s will be done. God bless you all.
UPDATE 8-25 MORNING
They have been waiting to take him in for MRI, to see if they can remove the cervical collar, that would be nice. Temperature is still kind of high, but manageable so far, they think it’s just his brain’s inability to regulate itself right now. They took out his ventricular i.v. from brain yesterday and cleaned up his head and nose again, much abrasions there. He is still not breathing on his own, and the trach is still an option, but they haven’t made a decision yet on that. His spinal fluid did come back clear, so that is good news. Each day things change. Many of you have asked about Chris and Cristina, of course I can’t update there for obvious reasons more than to share, keep praying for their comfort, for their peace, and for Chris to heal and grow stronger. For her little ones too. When it is your husband (having been there myself), and you have little ones at home, it is very difficult. My youngest, Koby was just a baby when Gilbert was first in ICU at Mayo. And Jessup was a 3 year old, along with all the other little ones I had at home, 5 more ranging 5,7,8,9 & 10. Pray for supportive people to continue to surround our families, and anyone disruptive to be kept away, including all nursing or doctors. We’ve been fortunate a majority of the time.
We know there are tender new mercies each morning from the Lord, I actually made that Bible verse picture below thinking on Cristina, who looks quite a bit like that, with beautiful long hair, and sweet, kind face. It’s surreal how one would have to meet in these circumstances, but the Lord knows and cares, and stores all our tears (Psalm 56:8).
Love in Christ to all who are reading.
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Following is the full text of Holly’s e-mail:
I don’t know where it’d be appropriate to ask for prayer, but my son Adam was in a serious motorcycle accident last night, he has severe head injuries and is not responding to any commands. I don’t know what happened with the guy who was driving, I know they took him into surgery. They’re not acting as if they are holding much hope out, just appreciate whatever prayers.
Please join me in praying for Adam, Holly and her family, as well as the other person involved in the accident.
Notes From A Retired Preacher 