(Following are some questions we have received from a reader via e-mail to ExPreacherman, along with our responses. We chose to publish some of these questions in a series of articles, since they are both good questions and similar to questions we have gotten from other visitors to ExPreacherman. In some cases, we have changed comments into question form and have expanded our original answers.)
I immediately feel awful when I go back to a sin or I do something wrong. Is this a sign that someone is saved?
Regret for having done wrong is not a dependable sign that someone is saved, nor is any other emotion or feeling. Unsaved people have consciences, that tell them when they have done something wrong and even make them feel bad about it.
We see this in the Bible in Matthew 27:3-5:
 Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,
 Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? see thou to that.
 And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.
If the Holy Spirit convicts a believer of sin, the proper response is to confess that sin and try to turn from it. Sometimes believers “grieve” or “quench” the Holy Spirit, and do not respond in the way they should to His ministry in their lives. Some believers grieve the Holy Spirit and live in a way indistinguishable from non-believers. That is why the Bible admonishes us to not be conformed to the world.
If I don’t feel bad at my wrongdoing, am I really in a relationship with Christ?
If your assurance of salvation comes from whether or not you feel bad about wrongdoing, you are focused on the wrong thing. The ONLY assurance of salvation comes from KNOWING that you have trusted Christ as your Savior.
Isn’t it my grieving that leads me to WANT to obey, and don’t I only obey through God’s grace in saving me BY giving me a changed heart?
As believers, our hearts only change when we read God’s word and apply it to our lives. Grieving may be one possible motivation for obeying God, but the Bible says that those who love God will keep His commandments. Please note that loving God is not a requirement to go to heaven and that loving Jesus will not save you. You must believe in Jesus as your Savior.
If we are the light of the world, and God has promised that He has given us a new heart, then shouldn’t there be evidence of that?
Our behaviors are not reliable evidence that we have believed. Even if they were, our behaviors can change. For example, if someone has faithfully served Christ with good works and obedience for twenty years, what guarantee does he have that he will continue to do that? If he stops doing those things later, does that prove he was never saved?
In addition, non-believers can do all of the nice things that believers do. And, believers are capable of all of the bad things that non-believers are. Please read the following article and watch the attached video: